Day 5: Open Relationships & Boundaries

 
 
 
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Day 5 of 365: Andy and Imogen talk about their open relationships, seeing other girls together, setting boundaries and being on the same team in a relationship.

The question asked: “I would like to know your thoughts on open relationships. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I want to meddle with your lives, but I would like to know how your opinion on open relationships, and how you deal with boundaries, jealousy, and the stuff that comes with it. (In my case, the thought of my LTR sleeping with other men would be really annoying, but on the other hand, I want to sleep with every woman I find attractive).”


Shownotes:

How to Breakup Amicably:
https://killyourinnerloser.com/how-to-breakup/


Show Outline/Draft:

Boundaries:
  • At the start we had very few, because her self esteem was lower and I was on a mission to get as much pussy as possible.
  • How she was afraid to even set boundaries. I had to encourage her to tell me what she wanted and what she was ok with and not ok with, so we could see if we were compatible.
  • Is this “beta”? No, asking a girl what she’s looking for is being a normal human. Now, you don’t have to give her what she wants – we’re not talking about captilating and bending over just to please hre. It’s a matter of – she says what she wants, you say what you want, and then you see if you’re compatible.
  • How we had to test a lot of boundaries because she had no idea what her dealbreakers were, because I was her first boyfriend.
  • Boundaries – eg Ellen.
  • Me making compromises – a couple girls now I’ve stopped seeing because I was getting really close with them and it was more than just sex. Because we hadn’t set boundaries with Imogen.
  • How I thought about just dropping imogen and going out to have lots of sex. But I’ve had sex with over 140 girls at this point – sex doesn’t satisfy as much any more. I wrote that article eventually you’ll end up settling. I made a conscious choice that Imogen was so focused on self-improvement and I felt she’d make a good cheerleader for me. (She’s literally a cheerleader).
  • Now we’re at a point where we’ve come up with a plan we’re both pretty happy with. Sleep with girls together, as a couple. Some girls I meet, some girls she meets. But I put out the energy to the girls that they have to meet you, that’s a requirement. You do the same.
  • What is that like, sexually? Fun getting them to be our little “toy” – we seek out submissive girls who have a fantasy of sleeping with a couple. Plenty of them.
  • It’s fun during sex having Immy whisper dirty things into the girl’s ears like “You’re so lucky I’m sharing my man with you. It feels so good having him fuck your little pussy, doesn’t it?” The girls LOVE that.
  • Blackdragon says never to get into a serious relationship with any girl under 25. I agree with that – why is it different with Imogen?
Her not sleeping with other men:
  • This is called a one-sided open relationship. Or a relationship that’s open on one side.
  • Early on when we weren’t serious you slept with other dudes. Once we got serious you told me didn’t want to sleep with other men.
  • At the same time I mentioned yeah, one of my requirements for a serious relationship is I’ll only commit to a girl who sleeps with just me.
  • Made it clear I wasn’t telling her what to do. Just setting out my boundaries.
  • I’m writing an article “is it hypocritical to sleep with girls and want a woman who doesn’t sleep with guys?”
  • Does Immy think it’s hypocritical?
  • Why not?
  • How is it different?
  • We’ve also tried Imogen dating girls on her own – I’m completely cool with that. For some reason it doesn’t feel the same to me.
  • So Fernando, if you want a woman who’ll only sleep with you (while you sleep around) – that’s cool man. Just don’t TELL her she has to do it; find a girl who’s cool with it.
  • It may also be easier if you do what we’ve done and find bisexual girls who are happy to sleep with the girls you bang. It’s much much easier to find bisexual girls who want to share girls with you – vs straight girls who are into one-sided open relationships.

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